A Covid Isolated Holiday Survival Guide
If you know me, you know I live alone and work from home – also alone. Additionally, I recently moved out of NYC to Asheville, N.C. because if I can't shake it on a crowded dance floor to manage my mental health, I need lots of trails, trees, and sky. Against the backdrop of Covid, these factors add up to a hell of a lot of alone time. As a survivor of interpersonal trauma, my tolerance for being alone was high to begin with. This made Covid isolation easier for me than many, but even I've hit my limit this year.
If you know me really well, you know I'm not a big holiday person either. I get frustrated by the economic burden Christmas puts on so many families and resentful of corporations' obsession with profits that drives that pain. Since childhood, I've been the one at Thanksgiving dinner who reminds people that it's warped to celebrate betrayal and genocide. It was probably more annoying than cute-smart.
The holidays alone can be challenging. Covid doesn’t make it easier.
Despite my counterculture inclinations, I still crave the warmth of connecting to people I love over a table of dishes that have shaped who we are. This year, in particular, I craved the sight and hassles of an overstuffed fridge and being sick to my eyeballs of turkey. There is a communal making and sharing of history when we come together over food. It’s been critical to our evolution as humans, and it's a behavior we all share – across the globe, in all cultures. We are without it now, and navigating that emptiness requires conscious strategies.
Here are seven tips for surviving a Covid isolated holiday.
1. Stay connected – however you can. If you work on zoom like I do, chances are you are totally zoomed out by the end of the day. Pre-Covid, a lot of people shunned phone calls. They were often considered intrusive and monopolizing unless absolutely necessary and scheduled in advance. This season I have about 8 hours worth of calls with friends scheduled on an average week. Pre-Covid I would have thought that be serious impediment to my alone time. Ha, ha, ha, Ho, ho, ho - things have changed.
2. Get specific. What's going to give you that cozy holiday feeling most right now? Figure out what you're itching for and focus on that. Is it festive food? Try making that dish you've never made for yourself. Is it décor? You are worth getting festive for! Yes, treating yourself to a festive pair of pajamas, sweatpants or a throw for the sofa counts.
3. Volunteer. A life that revolves around only sustaining myself feels small and stifling after a while. Engaging and supporting others heightens our sense of meaning, purpose, and connection. There are so many organizations struggling to keep up with increased demand right now. Childcare, animal shelters, food delivery, mental health hotlines all need help. You can find commitments ranging from 1 hour to 1 year.
4. Don't wait for New Years'. Plan 2021 now. According to the solar year, late fall is the ideal time to sketch your 2021 goals for the year. Once you've done the broad strokes planning, set clear intentions to back up your goals. Plant those intentions firmly in your cellular being and whatever transcendent beings support your life's journey. Instead of overindulging this season, leverage your meditation and spirituality to do the internal work required to see your goals to fruition. You'll be ready to come out swinging by the New Year.
5. Get Outside. Living and working alone from home means there are many days I have no reason to leave the house. If your budget is snug, leaving the house can feel extra treacherous since being outside can lead to accidental spending. Look for ways to flip the script on this. Can you pack some tea and take your reading or journaling outside? Try leaving with a purpose that doesn't require spending money, such as connecting with nature, looking for murals, taking pictures of __ (hands, the color red, puddles, reflections, etc.) __.
6. Declutter / Organize. This is one of my favorites. We all have areas of junky accumulation in our homes. It piles up and clogs not only our space but our psyche as well. As humans, we are masters of avoidance and tolerance, so we don't even realize how much our physical clutter clogs our mental space it until cleared. Decluttering can feel like a big, scary undertaking – one we are much happier to avoid. What if that cluttered space was a space of beauty, inspiration, and motivation?
7. You've found your Covid motivated hobbies, right? If not – do it! I've dug into photography and sewing. I can't claim any great skill in either activity yet, and yes, sometimes this bothers me. Even so, every time I engage either one, I lose myself a bit. It's a lovely break from – me.